Bullying Prevention: How tough is tough enough?

News reports about bullying flashed through my mind this week as one of our children brought his own bullying experience home.

Our little guy (LG) joined the swim team this year. Kids of all ages participate, which means they change in the locker room together. On Friday, LG told us the older boys were taking his stuff and hiding it from him in different parts of the locker room. He didn't want to get anyone in trouble, but he wanted to know if we thought this was bullying.

LG received a simultaneous "yes" from both parents. We contacted the coach and to the coach's credit, he took the incident very seriously and proposed corrective actions I initially thought were too severe.

After all, I found myself thinking, the boys were probably just having a little fun ... and they got a little carried away ... and I'm sure they didn't mean any harm ... and my son seemed okay with it ...

Except LG told me he avoided the locker room at practice Monday--he changed somewhere else so he wouldn't run into any of the big boys.

Alarms began ringing in my undoubtedly small brain. Of course, LG wants to appear as though being teased by the older boys was no big deal. He wants us to think he can handle it. But if it didn't bother him, why would he go to such lengths to avoid these guys?

I wondered how many bullying tragedies began in a similarly "harmless" way. How many incidents have been rationalized by well-meaning souls who thought kids were just being kids? Or they were just having a little fun? Or they just got a little carried away?

I wanted to share this seemingly small incident because it made me realize that when it comes to bullying, every incident--no matter how small--should be taken seriously. For the sake of the one being teased, and to raise awareness with those who are doing the teasing, zero tolerance is the only acceptable approach.